How Perfect Do I Have To Be?

It takes only one reliable person in a child’s life to make a difference in the face of abuse, neglect or trauma if that person makes time to hear what is on the child’s mind or bothering his gut. Simply showing heartfelt enjoyment in her presence makes a big difference in a child’s life.


If you are caring for a child, tuning into the child’s feelings and experiences about 20-30% of the time you are together will build a healthy connection.

Here’s the math: If you are physically with your child 3 hours a day (1 hour before school, 2 hours after school/work and before bed, a total of 45-55 minutes is all it takes.

You don’t have to be staring into each other’s eyes: Try listening while doing dinner chores, asking open-ended questions while folding laundry or being interested in the details of the child’s life that are usually seem unimportant to adults.

NEXT:  Calm yourself, calm your child

Read the 20-page series “Helping Children Cope…” which includes this page.
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